One area of communication that has always interested me is how words can have such a positive impact on our relationships. To be upfront, I am on my third marriage and I have never been happier. Of course, I have learned from my previous mistakes and my commitment to not repeat them. So here are three things that you can say and do to improve your relationship:
Try this question with your spouse or significant other, “What can I do to make your day better today?” You must be sincere in wanting to help, but the simple fact that you asked will make them feel better about your relationship. Henry B. Eyring tried this and was surprised by the request. His wife said, “Oh thank you. If you could please make the bed, that would be a big help.”1 A simple request, and yet it provided a way for him to show his love for her.
Dr. Mark Holder provides this next tip in his Tedx talk.2 He suggests the next time your spouse or significant other is telling you a story or about their day, nod your head, look them in the eye and say, “Tell me more.” Odds are they are going to tell you more anyway, but using this phrase shows you are interested and that they are important to you.
And finally, “Do you know what I love about you? I love that …” I have found this simple question and answer strengthens relationships in two ways. First, it helps your loved one know what you love and appreciate about them. Second, it reminds you of why you fell in love with them in the first place.
I do not know all the answers to happy relationships but I do know that when you make these phrases a regular part of your communication, you will feel an increase in love and appreciation not only for your spouse or significant other but also from them for you.
David Justus is an author, speaker, and Guinness World Record Holder. As the founder of Northcoast University, LLC and The Self-Coaching Vault, he shares his insights as a life and business coach to help people achieve greater success and more happiness.
- Henry B. Eyring, Draw Closer to God, Deseret Books 1997.
- Mark Holder, Three Words That Will Change Your Life, TEDxKelowna